Funny things seen in students' answers to exam questions and other writings

• On professional bodies for computing:

  "... Professional UK bodies for computing. Bill gates are one..... Another one is Steve Jobs."

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• In answer to "Comment on the advantages and costs of code optimisation":

  "Code optimisation aims to produce garbage."

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• A reason for choosing a project:

  "... rather appealing to me due to the amount of time over the years that I have spent in virtual worlds."

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• Concerning testing and debugging:

  "... testing will show bugs, but sometimes it is things that are not there that cause the problems."

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• Concerning the implementation of Java:

  "Bytecode is a kind of intermittent language."

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• On the benefits of using methods in programming:

  "Extra methods may be introduced to make the program do what it is supposed to do with more flair."

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• On object oriented programming:

  "An abstract class is an object that does not exist in the real world."

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• On the history of computing (from the perspective of 2001):

  "In the early days of computing, that is before 1990,..."

  "Ten years ago computers were the size of double decker buses, and filled whole rooms."

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• In a discussion of the design principle "Don't Overload the User's Memory":

  "Very big traffic signs can confuse people into getting lost."

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• Concerning Java's operator precedence rules:

  "Java will calculate from left to right when no precedences exist. This means that calculations will be correct as doing it backwards will not help."

  "Java prefers numerical values and therefore works them out first."

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• Concerning event oriented program architecture:

  "A user spends a lot of time staring at the screen, usually looking very bewildered."

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• On the use of comments in program source code:

  "... can be used to achieve some light humour and thus a more enjoyable working environment."

  "Comments tell the reader what is happening, explaining the process so that they have to do very little thinking."

  "Comments should be used sparingly... This gives the program a more professional look."

  "Comments... should be deleted when the program is finished."

  "Although Java coding is close to a form of English, it is not always exact." (... so, of course, you need to add comments to make it precise.)

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• In response to the question "Explain the technique of Greeked layout (concerning a Web page)":

  "Greeked layout is a layout quite different to conventional methods. It is where you read the screen from right to left, bottom to top, and everything is situated the opposite way to most web pages."

  "The greeked layout is where two 'pillar' style menu columns are placed down either side on the left and right of the page with a menu bar across the top."

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• About while loops in Java:

  "A while loop is used so that two things can be happening in the program at the same time."

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• Concerning good practice in the choice of identifiers in Java programs:

  "...or at least something memorable like madHatterIsABam1. If you can make someone laugh then they will enjoy fixing your broken program is what I always say."

  "The choice of identifiers used as names for variables and methods is very convenient as it makes declaring variables so much easier."

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• On the complexity of bubble sort:

  "Bubble sort is O(N²) which means that the ordered number is squared giving an outcome of four times what has went in."

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Last Update: 23rd December 2011